The Invisible Woman Syndrome

The Invisible Woman Syndrome: Five Tips to Become Visible

Women are known for putting their heads down and getting the job done, and hoping their efforts will be rewarded. I call this the Invisible Woman syndrome. Having spent many years mentoring women around me at work on how to get ahead and grow professionally, I wanted to share five tips on How to Become Visible.

• Be Your Own Best PR: If you don’t tell others what you have accomplished, who will? Women tell me they believe “someone will notice”.  Don’t leave it to chance: you are in the best position to share the success of your efforts and the impact of your work. However busy you are, take the time to share. It’s not about telling someone how wonderful you are, but rather about sharing the tangible outcomes of your work, so people who matter know how you have been able to help the company grow. Implicitly, it also gives them an understanding of your capabilities and experience, so they can speak to it when needed.

• Put Up Your Hand: Women rarely impel themselves into the spotlight when new opportunities are being discussed or considered. We continue to hear that lack of self-confidence in women is a key obstacle; men are more likely to proactively seek out opportunities, sometimes whether or not they are qualified.  I have heard women wistfully wonder why they were not considered for a particular role, but most of the time, they didn’t go after it.  Women need to ask, whether it is for that next career opportunity, or that raise, or that promotion. Once you ask the first time, and the second, it will get easier.

• Be OK with No: Closely tied to the previous issue is that women are often more afraid of rejection.  It is a vicious cycle, where lack of self-confidence feeds reticence to proactively go after something, and feeling rejected, if not selected, leads to even lower self-confidence.  In reality, most people in senior roles have dealt with downturns in their career, and have been able to get up, dust themselves off, and move on.  Again, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. “This thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down”, to quote Mary Pickford.  

• Speak with Authority:  Women sometimes end sentences on a questioning note. When they are speaking to others, this can create the impression that they are not sure of themselves, and conveys a lack of credibility. This is true not just for male listeners, but for female listeners as well.  Women need to cultivate the ability to speak with precision and with definitiveness. Never end a sentence on an upnote (unless you are actually asking a question).  An actor once advised that to deliver impactful communications, one should speak from deep in the stomach, and take a breath between every word. Give it a try sometime.

• Take a Risk - Make Yourself Heard: Many companies, especially young tech environments, have an “assertive-aggressive” model of success. It is clearly best to work in a collaborative mode to drive understanding and buy-in. However, sometimes it is important to be able to make your perspective heard in a room full of loud, passionate and opinionated colleagues.  Sometimes you need to be able to make a stand that is different that the prevailing direction.  Women tend to shrink away from doing this; it clearly means you have to take a risk and make yourself visible….and maybe less popular? Less liked?  Sometimes, expressing a contrary position is the right thing to do. And choosing not to do it for fear of being “visible” is a sure path to invisibility.

Much of the current research points to the “unconscious bias” against women, which disadvantages women over men, and hence limits their career advancement. There is no doubt that this is true; it is important that men and women recognize and correct for such bias in the workplace. However, it is equally true that women can take ownership through proactive focus on how they are perceived, how they show up and how they manage their actions to drive positive outcomes for themselves.  

All Hail the Visible Woman!